Carnal Beginnings: A dark romantic suspense (Carnal Series Book 1) Read online

  “Dinner out two nights in a row. I feel like the luckiest girl in town.” A soft seaside breeze sifted through Adara’s hair. It was the type of afternoon made for a long walk on the beach with your best friend by your side.

  Seats under dockside awning provided relief from the sun’s brilliant rays while its colorful tails fluttered in capricious fun. Small intimate tables remained empty on the restaurant’s patio at the early hour. Dinner was a leisurely affair with the quiet sound of water lapping at the dock and ducks swimming in lazy circles. Nautical passengers disembarking from nearby boats added to the ambiance. Never had her life been so peaceful. She enjoyed every bite of her meal.

  “Why not? Consider it a pre-birthday celebration. You know, you were pretty amazing today, standing your ground like that. I knew you had it in you.”

  “How is it you always seem to know what I’m thinking, Julien? You never cease to amaze me.”

  “Sweetheart, your body language is very expressive. I just learned from an early age to read people. That’s all.”

  “Oh? How did you learn?”

  “Just one of the things you pick up along the way, I guess.” He looked away, shrugged his shoulders.

  The frown he wore hid a wealth of information. During their talks, he gave few details about his life. Maybe his path had remained on an even keel and lacked the frequent upheavals she’d experienced.

  Standing up to Jackie today had been a long time in coming yet still amazed her. She’d face no more quips about how she dressed, her awkwardness, or her lack of social grace.

  When Julien laid his hand on the table with a question in his eyes, she took it without hesitation. More than just a safe haven, his presence inspired thoughts of things dreamed long ago. His strong jaw held the slight shadow that would do little more than tickle if he kissed her. Really? That’s where your mind wants to go? Warmth tinged her cheeks.

  “Adara. What are you thinking?”

  “Uh, just that it’s been such a beautiful day. One of the best in my life.”

  “Adara?”

  That voice.

  “Julien—you’ve been so nice to me…”

  He tilted his head, waiting.

  “I was wondering what you see in me. For years, I’ve been so…awkward.” She couldn’t look him in the eyes when he cocked a brow.

  He waited.

  “Okay. I was wondering what it would feel like if you kissed me.” Her face flamed under his scrutiny.

  His grin unnerved her. “Well, soon enough, sweetheart, but not tonight. All good things in time.”

  Her eyebrows reached for the sky with her stupid face firmly in place. “Not tonight?”

  “Nope, you’re not ready.”

  Again, she looked away. There’d be no sleep in her forecast tonight.

  “I don’t ever want you feeling that you jumped out of the frying pan into the fire. We need to take things slow.”

  “I’m stronger than I look.”

  “So I’m learning, sweetheart. So I’m learning.”

  “First dinner, then dancing at a night club?” It didn’t matter that she had two left feet, she’d plead exhaustion if he asked her to dance.

  “Giavani’s is small but exclusive. I thought you might like a little downtime after such a trying day.” Per his established courtly routine, Julien opened the door and ushered her inside.

  “Jackie bragged last week about how her new beau of the month brought her here to wine and dine.”

  A wave of heat accompanied her mental retreat from the sight which greeted her. The interior bespoke of a class where she formerly belonged. Only Julien’s hand at her waist instilled the courage to put one leaden foot in front of the other. When she faltered, his strong arm around her waist pulled her closer to his frame. She couldn’t help but inhale the masculine scent combined with his aftershave to draw strength.

  A small, secluded table at the far side of the room provided an intimate setting where she could observe others and not feel on display. En route, heads turned as they passed. Elegant couples commented or nodded their greeting with Julien’s advance. He seemed to know everyone.

  Iron-filigreed sconces threw inscrutable shadows across the embroidered linen tablecloth in celebration of her new path. This might have felt normal if her parents were still alive.

  “I’m still having trouble assimilating this whole situation. I never dreamed my life could turn so many corners so fast. I owe you so much, Julien. How can I ever thank you?”

  “First of all, people shouldn’t have to dream of freedom. It should simply be there. Second, well…let’s just say this. You’re a beautiful woman, and I enjoy your company. You have your own personal demons, as do we all. This just happens to be something I can help you overcome. Once done, we’ll see where this goes.”

  She had so much to consider, the most important, Julien himself. The past several years with her uncle and cousin, she’d dreamed of liberation yet never imagined she’d have help.

  She’d known her boss for six months, yet years of abuse fell away to awaken the slumbering romantic that had thrived within her parents’ love. Her nerves danced to the erratic beat of her pulse while the electrical overload singed and melded her thoughts.

  Overhead chandeliers provided soft lighting that further enhanced the cozy atmosphere. Scented candles burned on each table, their shadows cavorting in the slightest air currents. In the center of the room, an area cleared for dancing seemed to mock her years of crude and primitive life. How could a man who’s experienced the world be interested in me?

  Spotlighted on the stage in the back, an elegantly dressed woman sang soft folk music. The smooth, hypnotic voice completed the peaceful atmosphere and held the few occupants in thrall.

  When the server left with their drink orders, Julien offered his hand. “Let’s dance. I realize you don’t have much experience, but I’m asking you to have faith in me.”

  He led her to the dance floor despite her voiced inabilities. Several other couples joined them. Strains of a current love song drifted softly through the atmosphere to fashion a dream state in which she and Julian spent many evenings enjoying each other’s company. She wanted to believe the words magical and that he’d picked this particular song just for her.

  One major problem.

  “Julien, really, I can’t dance,” she again insisted quietly.

  “Sweetheart, don’t worry. Look around, the other couples are so self-involved they won’t notice us. Just put your hands on my shoulders.” As he spoke, he lifted her hands and put them around his neck before his own molded her waist.

  The light-headed feeling now associated with his proximity didn’t come as a surprise. Holding tight for balance proved her best option. When her forehead dipped to his shoulder, he tipped her head up to lock gazes.

  “You okay, sweetheart?”

  “Hmmm?”

  “Tell me what you’re feeling, Adara.”

  “Um, nervous?”

  “Why? I’ve told you I’m not going to hurt you. We’re not even going to kiss today.”

  “Why not? I mean, why won’t you kiss me?”

  “Because I don’t want to overwhelm you. I just want you to be close and know you’re safe.”

  “Oh. But I do.”

  He cocked a brow, waiting…

  “Okay. I feel—scared, though not like you’ll hurt me.”

  “Good, Adara. That’s good.”

  What? The man confused her on so many levels. So many sensations overwhelmed her body that it took all her concentration to remain standing on jellied legs.

  * * * *

  The pulse at the base of Adara’s throat pounded while her breath came swifter and shallower. The crimson of her face reinforced her shock as he pulled her closer, almost touching. The urge to crush her to his chest overwhelmed but he resisted.

  He didn’t want his arousal to scare her, yet controlling that bodily function tested the limits of his endurance since observing her sig
ns of emerging passion sent all extra blood volume to his southern head. A mental review of open case files while immersed in a tub of ice water provided a bit of calm. Nothing cancelled the flash of savoring the most beautiful woman he’d ever known.

  Control of his libido had never been a problem. He pulled her tighter into his embrace, inciting an internal combustion that sent frissons of current arcing through every circuit of his body. If she experienced half the sensations swamping him, her feat of standing was admirable. When he caressed the curve of her spine through the cotton shirt, she swayed into his embrace with a whispered, “Julien.”

  “Hmm.” A slow deliberate slide let his hand smooth over her glossy, silk curls. The delicate scent of her hair beckoned his lips to brush the crown of her head. Unable to stop, he inhaled deeply, the expansion of his chest bringing their bodies into contact.

  Peering down at her face revealed the gentle flaring of her nostrils and the muted sound of her stifled groan that betrayed her feelings. Never had his body suffered such scorching hunger. Worries that he moved too fast dissipated with the proof of her desire.

  The gentle sway of their bodies blended passion and longing with a contentment he’d never experienced. With each inhalation, her chest expanded against his, causing the most delicious friction, her hips firm under his hand’s questing search.

  Without doubt, her nipples would harden and heat would pool low in her belly. If she were more confident in herself, he’d question her about it. Now, he’d just let her enjoy as the sensations washed over her. Mental images of how he’d explore and savor her sweet body came to mind, unbidden. Not. Helping.

  As the evening progressed, he held her tight with each dance. His entire world focused on her body, more relaxed and molding against him. When he felt her fingers making swirling motions at the base of his neck, he groaned.

  She shuddered.

  It would take an act of God to keep his hands off her tonight, but he was a man who kept his word.

  “Sweetheart, I hope you don’t mind making it a little bit of an early night tonight. We still need to swing by Marc’s house to pick up Nika.”

  Her soft mewl against his chest made him smile.

  “I look forward to having a dog in the house. Does she sleep on the bed?”

  “Would you like her on your bed?” Never thought I’d be jealous of a dog. Though his brother had trained her for protection, he’d made sure to start early in the puppy stage, molding the disposition compatible with his lifestyle. The next dog trained would be for Adara to keep.

  “Sure. I’d love it.” She paused. “Julien? I know I said earlier it was probably nothing…but Graham not stopping by today bothers me. Plus, he never answered his cell. Would it be a big deal to find out where he lives and check on him tomorrow? I’m worried. He’s not the type to no-show.”

  “Absolutely. We can get information from his cell number and pull his driving record. We’ll swing by first thing in the morning.”

  “Thank you. I can’t believe he didn’t call me back. Though he knows better than to call my cell.”

  “So your uncle and cousin don’t know anything about him?”

  “They know we used to be friends.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Any doubts Julien entertained concerning Adara and Nika getting along vanished when Marc opened his door. Whether instinctual or through experience, she knelt upon seeing the massive black and gold shepherd. Avoiding eye contact and remaining still, she waited as the dog approached calmly and sniffed several times before rubbing her head on Adara’s shoulder.

  Marc just shook his head. “Some people are just naturals.”

  “Despite her unusual friendliness, Nika is a good watch dog.” Marc gestured them to enter.

  “Oh, I believe you. I grew up with shepherds, love them. Never seen one this beautiful, though. Kinda looks like a wolf. Bet nobody’s tried to break into your home…”

  “No, I’ve never had a problem. Would you two like a drink?”

  “No thanks, Marc. We gotta get home to settle our new guest. Thanks, by the way. Really appreciate it.” Julien reached down to rub Nika’s chest as Adara continued to coo over her newest friend.

  “By the way, I’ve arranged to go look at a litter of pups next week—maybe you’d like to bring Adara along to see them. They’re from a strong working line, Hungarian import.”

  “Sure…What do you think, sweetheart? Interested?” To see her eyes light up again made Julien’s night.

  “Can we? That would be wonderful…”

  A confirmed bachelor, Julien’s thought of a second car in his attached garage hadn’t occurred before meeting Adara. As he looked at the empty space, it begged for fulfillment. Adara’s car there made sense, though he preferred to keep her by his side and escort her where she needed to go. Until he’d sorted her family and stalker situation, it was a necessity.

  After disengaging the alarm and opening the back door, he gave Nika the search command then retrieved the box of dog paraphernalia and food from his trunk. “Adara, I’ll teach you the proper commands starting tomorrow. How about tonight, we relax.” Minutes later, Nika returned and sat quietly at his feet. “Okay, we can enter.” He motioned for the shepherd to settle in the kitchen.

  “And if someone was inside?”

  “Believe me, we’d know it. She wouldn’t come sit by me. Marc has worked long and hard with her. She’s Schutzhund trained.”

  “Would you care for some coffee?” Setting his hand on her waist, he guided her to a deep-tufted sofa in the great room. The gentle sway of her firm hips, muscles moving in perfect sync, reminded him of her love of gymnastics. Thoughts of various apparatuses flitted through his mind—vaulting boards, parallel bars, and a balance beam. His home gym offered plenty of space to accommodate equipment. The mental image of her on the tumbling mats made him groan. She reminded him of a strong filly—thin, long legs, unsure of herself. How he wanted those legs wrapped around his waist.

  “Sure, if you’re having some.”

  “Have a seat, I’ll be right back.”

  Named appropriately, the great room sprawled far enough to encompass heavy yet comfortable furniture. Wood beams, burnished to a deep rich luster, gleamed in the cathedral ceilings. A large pool table dominated one corner of the room with a flat screen TV high on the wall. Two leather sofas sat perpendicular to each other, anchored by an area rug in rich earth tones. Hardwood floors gleamed around its edges.

  A cultured stone fireplace anchored wall cabinets on either side that held vestiges of his life, from memorabilia during his military days to pictures of the brothers scuba diving. Each time he pressed them into deco diving, they accused him of cavorting with his fellow cigar sharks.

  The entire front wall consisted of floor-to-ceiling glass, showcasing the beach in all its fury. Bunches of ammophila waved in the breeze, reflecting amethyst light from the LED fixture while tall grass dotted the small sand dunes behind. A three-quarter moon hung low in the sky, gracing the water with diamond-like brilliance.

  The beauty of an open floor plan allowed him to observe her in quiet contemplation while the sea view drew out her inner theorist. She startled when he returned with a tray of coffee, sugar, and creamer.

  “Help yourself, Adara.” He didn’t miss the tightening of her thighs when he settled beside her, the conflicting tells a recipe for stress. “Relax, Adara. We’re just going to talk.”

  Mere inches of separation highlighted the slight tremble in her fingers as she prepared her coffee. Two teaspoons of sugar approximated twenty pounds each, according to his estimate. She stirred, yet didn’t taste, apparently afraid she’d spill.

  “You know me so well…” On a deep breath, she sat back against the sofa and crossed her legs, then uncrossed them and tucked her feet under her after slipping off her shoes. Here was Adara, folding in on herself, emotionally and physically.

  “Your body language is very explicit. You demonstrate your emotions in your expre
ssions and nonverbal. I just happen to read you and know you’re a very responsive woman.”

  “But I don’t like…”

  “Don’t like what?”

  “Um, do we really need to talk about this?”

  “Let me ask you this. Would you like to be more comfortable around men? Hell, more comfortable in your own skin? Less anxiety, fear, frustration. To always feel the confidence you radiated when dealing with Jackie.”

  “I don’t see how that’s possible. Dealing with a woman is one thing, but men? I’ve been nervous around men since—”

  “Since the men in your family started abusing you?”

  “Yeah, when I was seventeen.”

  “And you’ve never told a soul? What about Graham?”

  “No. But I think he knows. He’s a bit like you…I mean, he just—reads me.”

  “Might help if you talked about it, even if in vague terms to start.”

  She let out a deep sigh. Her gaze held trepidation and then resignation. “In my head, I know you’re right. It’s just difficult to do.” Another deep breath accompanied a long blink. “At first, it consisted of just intermittent whippings. When I turned eighteen, they decided I needed to become a woman, with the beatings thrown in as a bonus. At first I thought I could run away when I turned eighteen. Then I realized they’d find me and life would be worse.” Her gaze drifted toward the open sea, only to flit back to beseech his understanding. “Can you teach me how to disappear—fall off the legal radar?”

  “I can teach you to hide, if that’s really what you want. However, that won’t set you free. You’ll always be afraid, always looking over your shoulder. There’s no peace in that type of life.”

  “What else can I do? I’m not a brawler. They’re both bigger and stronger—it would take me years to learn to defend myself. I can’t stay here that long. And any piece of paper they receive from a lawyer or judge will end up in the trash.”

  Of course you can stay until you’re safe. And there are other avenues open to you.”

  “Like?”

  “Let’s break it down to legal and physical, okay? Legally, we’ll have all your assets tied up in funds so that if you married, even your husband couldn’t touch a cent. That will negate the idea of marriage.”